2015.
It's wild to think how much can change in one year.. or even one day and then at the same time sit in one spot for one hour and see how quickly every thing around you visibly changes. I am grateful for moments like this that make me stop and remember time is really a gift. At the end of every year I like to take some time to myself and reflect on the past year and set goals for the new. While writing this post I went back to previous years 2014. 2012.. all the way to 2009. It was exciting to see that while so much has changed over the years.. my heart, dreams, passions, and wishes are something that remain pretty constant.
As I always have kept my blog personal and honest, I'll share some of my years reflections. This was a year of change. A lot of changes in everyday routines, learning self-discipline, the people I connect with, people I've let go, places I've visited, books I've read, music I listen to, and even food I eat.. I had some health issues mid-year that has changed my entire diet to gluten free. It has been quite the adventure considering I LOVE food, and I'm the least picky eater ever. I usually will try anything. I still get embarrassed to ask for the GF menu at restaurants. I really don't want to be that person who has everything served with red flags on it. But in all honesty I've never felt better. I've suffered horrible allergies, stomach problems, and skin rashes my whole life - but in the past few months I've been allergy free, my skin is clear, and my stomach has never felt better. My love for pasta, pizza, chocolate cake, and donuts struggle has been real! Although many restaurants now offer GF pasta and my local bakery does make fresh GF donuts every Saturday morning. Not to mention Dominos delivers a pretty good GF pizza. I'm actually quite impressed. I'm still learning a lot about this allergy and diet, but it's exciting meeting so many fellow GF friends in this process. I still miss my NY pizza, very much.
In other changes, this was the first year I've officially been self-employed. I still can't believe I did it! So many times this year I've thought about getting back in to marketing or finding a part time job. But every day I tell myself, I got this. I've been practicing a lot of self-discipline, waking up earlier, saying no to friends nights out, and weekend getaways. Although I do my best to still travel some where new once a month. I don't have a set schedule in place hourly like in all previous jobs I've had, but I do plan out my month and week accordingly and work to meet my deadlines, budgets, and goals set in place. The hardest struggle daily is really just conquering the fears of self employment. What I've taken away from this year is there is nothing more important then ending my day with a grateful heart, feeling blessed to be able to do what I love every day, thanking god for all that he does for me, letting him take care of all my worries and fears, and then waking up in gratitude knowing he will guide me on the new days journey.
Which leads me in to another significant shift in my year which has been my journey of enlightenment in faith. I would say I've always been spiritual but over the past few months I've been questioning and relearning the essentials of faith. I was born and raised roman catholic, went to church every Sunday, went through Sunday School and confirmation. It wasn't until when I went away to college I started not believing in my faith as much and stepped away from the catholic church. So here I am, 32 years old and I'm just now beginning to believe all over again. I'm still uncertain where I'm headed on my life's path, but I've been enjoying reconnecting myself with someone who understands this journey and I can now talk to on it. I don't feel so alone. In this process I've learned that when you're not communicating to God you're pretty much telling him that you don't need him, that you can do things on your own, and that you are capable of going through your life under your own power. I had been doing my own way for quite some time. Probably explains why my twenties was full of such detours, always feeling lost and misguided. If anything I am now certain of this. “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” We are not made to do it alone.
During this reflecting week, I took a drive out to my closest mountain escape, Mt. Charleston. It's the one place I go when I need inspiration, peace of mind, a meditation, hike, or just breathe in some fresh air. This time I took Roman my pup, who has filled my heart every day since I adopted him two years ago. I could not imagine what my world would be like now without this little dude by my side. I know it sounds silly but when you work from home, there are often times you get lonely but with this little guy here there is always laughs, singing, and dancing in my house every day. This was actually his first adventure to the mountains with snow! I'm not so sure he liked snow, I think because it is so foreign to him. He doesn't move when he gets his paws wet, it's so funny he just freezes up. We drove up to lee canyon to watch the sunset. I captured the changes in the sky east v. west every 15 minutes during the 4 o'clock hour which was incredible. Photos don't even do justice for the colors in the sky, but like I mentioned earlier in this post, it's wild to see and document all these visible changes happen so quickly. I'm looking forward to the new year, again with no resolutions or plans set in place but just reflections to remember how far I've come and faith in the steps that guide me from here. We can make our plans, but the lord determines our steps. // Proverbs 16:9
Thank you for stopping by and reading, sharing your support, and love. I am truly blessed to be able to share my love and creations with you daily. Please feel free to comment and share your reflections and goals for 2016, I'd love to hear them. Here's to a new year of adventures, LOVE and DREAMS!
